Sunday, December 31, 2006

Depressing wet New Year's Eve










Sudden downpour of heavy rain at about 11pm... sian. Been trying to complete the assignment since 8pm. Actually, got woken up by my parents to webcam at 8am after only having slept for three hours. Since I was fully awake by the time we finished talking, I tried to do the assignment but after a mere thirty minutes I started nodding off in front of the computer.

In an attempt to wake myself up, I went to the kitchen for some fruits. But another half an hour later, I started dozing off again. My head snapped up periodically, and after adding a couple of notes or listening to the masterpiece shitty piece again I'll be nodding off. Somehow I just couldn't shake off the sleep.

At 2pm I joined NH for lunch in the kitchen, pooling our dwindling foodstuffs together to create a really weird meal of fish fingers sandwiches for him and a turkey ham sandwich for me (non-halal ham)... and curly fries too. Just as we were finishing lunch and I was thinking I could maybe now keep awake long enough to do some work, MH came by. And both NH and I stayed in the kitchen chatting with her, until about 5pm when MH decided to go home for a while before coming back to join XH for dinner.

XH had invited me for dinner too, but once MH left I tried to start work again... only to fall asleep, like really asleep kind of asleep (what's wrong with me man!). Only woke up at 8pm and by then I was feeling really dreadful that I hadn't done much. Think someone did knock on my door while I was asleep and probably saw me sleeping when they opened it, but by the time I woke up I decided not to join them for dinner.

Work I did, though it's a very slow time-consuming process for me (I'm not like those who can just churn out lots of good stuff in an instant, too bad). I also got to enjoy some fireworks courtesy of some rich people staying somewhere up the street. Hmm but I think fireworks are not as expensive here though, because it's so popular during festive days and I always here them whenever it's some important occasion.

So far, I've only managed to hit the 2-minute mark (three-quarters of which were already completed before today), and that's out of a 6-8 minute piece I gotta write. So that boils down to what, half a minute written after three hours of work? Long way to go... although I think I'll just stay up all night and bury my head in there. If I just finish this assignment by tomorrow, I will definitely not be as stressed next week. Just gonna take a nice warm shower (no heater after midnight... brrrrr), and maybe cook something quick.

Slacking and pigging out

NH just called to say his plane has touched down in UK and he'll reach home by about 3am. Back to my smelly mouldy room then... *sob*

Despite promising myself to finish at least the assignment this week, I'm really ashamed to announce that I haven't done much over the past few days. The only thing I was hardworking about was practising, which is good in a way... but once I get home I have the tendency to slack. I'd much rather browse blogs, watch the movies I have on the external hard disk over and over again, do anything but work. Sigh.

I did try very hard last night, but after listening to what I've already written, I will just be sian ji pua and not only don't feel like doing work, but also feel like deleting everything I'd written! And after listening to it over and over again in an attempt to maybe hope a bulb will light up somewhere... I was ready to give it up. So I moved on to watching a video of the opera which I've chosen to do for one of the essays. Fortunately I managed to find its score in the central library, otherwise I really wouldn't have been able to do anything except watch it.

I hate essays and assignments!!!! I'd much rather have more practical stuff even though I'm scared to death of them, and can really screw up. But since I don't ever get tired of practising, and at least it's just... go up there, do your stuff, and it's over. Much better than doing essays when you have to mull over it, do lots of research and reading, and finally force yourself to stare at the computer for days on end. (Ok, I know watching movies is also staring at the computer.) Just to come up with rubbish that many people have already written about. I do like reading and learning all the academical things, just not plaigarising summarising paraphrasing trying to express the same opinion as others have done in their books. Give me practical stuff any day.

It's also not helping much that I have a very guilty conscience because I suddenly got a monstrous appetite. Think it's because of the sudden jump to colder-than-before temperatures. But that's no excuse! I don't wanna become as fat as I became at the end of last year again! Look what I had for dinner for the past three days:










Thursday: devoured half a duck by myself (was really craving for Peking duck for unknown crazy reasons so I bought it at Aldi, sold frozen, together with the wrapper thingy and sauce). As if this was not enough, I munched on a whole packet of popcorn that was about probably medium-sized as sold in cinemas. Oh the horrors!










Friday: had lamb shank in rosemary and mint sauce (also bought frozen from Aldi). Then I moved on to peanut glutinous rice balls in water with brown sugar (what a great comfort to eat this and listen to the wind howling!) Also ate three small packets of Cheese Curls (light potato and maize snack that's cheese flavoured, very addictive) after that.










Today: ate two pieces of southern fried chicken (again, bought frozen from Aldi), with a mountain of fries drizzled with melted cheese. No picture, because I wolfed down the whole thing before I remembered that I should capture a picture to remind me of all the fats I've just consumed. And then peanut glutinous rice balls again (bought frozen from a shop in china town, same brand as the one in Singapore!), this time in soya milk.

Oh, the sinful convenience of frozen food. Buy it, keep it for as long as you want, and when you're craving for it, take it out, bang it in the oven, and half an hour later it's ready. No fuss. But also unhealthy.

I think it's just a once-in-a-long-time thing, cos right now I'm feeling too sick of such rich food and am ready to eat like I normally do once again. Just hope it will last for some time before I start craving for something more fattening. And then, I will attack the pizzas still lying in the freezer *cackles*.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Boxing Day sales

Went to the city centre for Boxing Day sales! Was pleasantly surprised by a late-night sms from HN yesterday asking if I wanted to join him and his housemates. It's good I did, or I might have been quite put off by the crowds if I went alone. Shopping alone usually means that I walk into stores that are not too crowded, and run home as fast as I can right after I've bought whatever I wanted to buy.

And because his housemates have the Singaporean kiasu spirit (they're Malaysians), I was supposed to meet HN at 8.20am at their student accommodation. Was there only five minutes early but the girls were all not ready so I could have taken my time to walk there! We shared a cab since the trains are not running on Boxing Day.

It's quite amusing to note that the majority of early-arrivers were not British. But eventually, there was quite a crowd of British people waiting in front of River Island, even though other stores were already open. Can see that River Island is very popular here.

Got a pair of jeans from the first shop we went to, Gap, for £19.99:










That was before the large crowd in front of River Island formed. We also went to Zara, Miss Selfridges and Topshop, but I didn't buy things from there. Either not the kind of clothes I would normally wear, or really nice jeans at really nice non-discounted prices. T_T Ok lar, to be fair, there were many nice tops I could have gone crazy over, but... I dunno, just thought I'd rather not go through the hassle of trying and then in the end decide not to buy, or only buy one.

Because the girls took so long in Topshop, HN and I decided to go to River Island, which was just next door. And was probably one of the most crowded shops (didn't step into Monsoon though, and I saw quite a lot of people in there). Found a pair of shoes I liked, but also found out that the queue was hell of a long one snaking through the store. Queued for half an hour. Just to get a pair of simple-looking shoes. That wasn't exactly cheap either. Haha but better than HN by a bit, he did the same in the men's department, except that his pair of shoes costs twice of mine.

Shoes from River Island, for £24.99:










Found out when I got home that the shoes are too big! *Horrors* Before I saw this pair, I tried on another pair, and so stupidly thought that the size should be the same and decided to buy this one without trying it first. Oh well, at least the receipt says I can return it for refund or exchange, just not within 26-28 December. Hopefully they will still have my size after 28th... if not, then ok lor, refund. Not like I would wear such shoes in UK much (too pretty to spoil by walking on such muddy roads). Just that it would be nice for once to have a pair of black shoes to wear for concerts that does not also bleed my heels to death. Also, important to have comfy black shoes for my own performance assessment!

After River Island, HN and I were basically very much done with shopping. Went to Body Shop to meet up with the girls and everyone bought stuff together in order to use HN's card. And then we split up, since the girls were still not done shopping. HN and I had a good break, and a filling one too... Krispy Kremes! Getting bored of sitting and chatting, we decided to browse around again, and on our last stop at Music Junction, we got some really good steals of two-CD sets for £2.97 each. Since we couldn't decide which sets to get, we finally settled on four and each got two, and we can exchange them later.

Although I've known this for as long as I dunno, many years?, one little incident really reiterated it in my mind: HN was complaining that owning too many pairs of shoes is troublesome cos he has to decide which pair to wear everyday, and then he said he usually makes his decisions based on what he's wearing.
Me: Haha that's such a girly thing to do.
HN: Ya, I know! Maybe that's why I don't have a girlfriend.
Me: Oh, so it's the opposite for me? I don't have enough handbags and shoes so I don't have a boyfriend. (All of us were chatting while waiting for the shops to open, and it seems I have even lesser pairs of shoes than HN.)
HN: Ya! You don't even have ear holes! What happens if your boyfriend buys ear rings?
Me: ... I dunno... ???? Consider piercing? (Which boyfriend would buy ear rings when he knows the girl doesn't have ear holes?! Or maybe they would, I dunno?)
HN: Clip-ons... (haha previously when he found out I didn't have ear holes we were joking about how the mention of clip-ons just brings to mind 'old-fashioned')

Ya lar, ya lar, so I'm not very girly... nothing wrong lor. Not that I don't like to look nice, just that I prefer the not-too-dressed-up kind of nice mah. And my mother didn't bring me to pierce my ears when I was a kid, so I grew up without having the urge to wear pretty ear rings nor pierce my ears. Heck, I don't even bother wearing any accessories apart from the once-in-a-very-blue-moon necklaces. And I'm a sucker for jeans, but girls don't have to wear dresses to look nice ok. Also, one nice pair of shoes can be worn many times, so what's the point of buying so many pairs? Haiyah... but ya I know, I'm not a girly girl.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Living out of a suitcase

Sort of. The mould in my room has been back for quite some time and it's beginning to spread in a disgusting pattern on the wall. The landlord said he'll arrange for someone to dismantle the whole wall, clean and dry the plaster, before putting it back again. Not sure how that's done.

So since NH is having a romantic Christmas with his girlfriend in Phillipines, he has kindly offered me boarding space in his room. Which is so much bigger than mine but is also very messy, and with both his and my indoor clothes airers taking up quite a lot of space. And I can't use his cupboard so the only thing I can do is pile up the stuff in my suitcase. And some on one of the airers. (The other one is for drying clothes.)

I'm turning his room into some sort of laundromat as well, because when I moved my clothes out of my cupboard, I was unpleasantly surprised by mould growing in the innermost, darkest corner. It was nauseating... and even more horrific to find out that some of my clothes were contaminated with mould too. I just stood there staring at the clothes, not knowing what to do with them. Some I could throw since I've never even worn them this year, but others... well, I think I will wear them, just not so often. So lots of clothes went into the washing machine (with a generous dosage of washing powder!), and thankfully NH's room is big enough to accomodate two airers. Mine is too small and once I open up my airer, I just have about enough floor space for three persons to stand still doing nothing. And that's after they squeeze into the room so that the door can be closed.

But despite the hassle of having to move my stuff (don't get me started on moving, I hope I'm not going to find new housemates or a new house next year), I'm enjoying NH's room. Because when YR moved out, our previous internet line went with him so NH had to sign for a new line. Which, thanks to the way internet companies work here, was only activated (modem delivered on the same day) after NH left for Phillipines. And somehow we couldn't configure the router which YR is lending us until NH buys a new one on his trip back here via Singapore, not even when we asked two other computer science students to come over and try. Apparently it's different from what they do in Singapore.

Which all boils down to one thing: I can use the modem in NH's room!

It's worth it to live out of a suitcase just for the sake of having internet connection. And a nice comfy bed on which I can sleep right next to the wall, toss and turn, without having that subconscious knowledge that I'm sleeping next to mould. Yea, I did move the bed away from the wall but there's only that much I can move it due to space constraint. And I've been sleeping as far out and as close to the edge of the bed as possible... for the past few months. It's become a habit. I've never actually touched the mouldy wall and neither has my duvet moved in that direction.

I just hope the person fixes the room soon, before NH comes back on 29 December, then how? I don't want to sleep sofa leh...

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Sick x_x

Was having very sore shoulders and aching back last evening but I dismissed it as muscle aches from having such a long practice session after slacking too much.

It turned out to be the kind of body aches before the onset of fever. Spent the whole night in a semi-state of wakefulness, feeling very terrible and wanting to get up to get a panadol and wet towel but never actually managing it because the next moment I'd be asleep. And the cycle keeps repeating. It was only about 6am when I finally became quite awake and was contemplating getting a panadol, but decided against it because then I wouldn't be able to wake up to webcam with my parents.

And weirdly enough, I fell asleep! Until they had to call me three times before I actually heard the handphone ringing. Needless to say, I was feeling quite awful but I tried to be normal on the webcam. Didn't want them to know I was sick because it would feel terrible knowing I was ill but not being able to do anything to help. (Yes I am quite stubborn that way.)

After that I sms-ed one of the Singaporeans to tell them I wouldn't be joining them for the christmas party tonight, took panadol, got a wet towel, and went back to sleep. And sleep was pretty much what I did for the whole day. It was such bliss to sleep without being waken up by all that aching. Most of which were gone by evening, when my mind was clear once again.

What a silent Christmas.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

German chocolate loot

Woke up early for the first time during the holidays and went to uni to do some practising. I loved the feeling of satisfaction after spending a good three hours working on things. At the very least, it sort of made up a bit for the guiltiness I had been feeling for not doing any work ever since the start of holidays.

I then took a train to the city centre, because when I had visited the central library yesterday I hadn't looked up some things. And it's my only source of information right now, since I had procrastinated doing work and going to the library so much that when I finally got my lazy bum out of the house on Friday, I found out (to my very great dismay and guilt) that the music library and the resource library were closed from Friday. Serves me right for lazing my Thursday afternoon away, thinking I could always go to the library on Friday. And both libraries are only going to be open on 3 Jan, a short twelve days before my three essays are due. Also, I'll be working for the whole week starting 2 Jan, 9am-4pm, so I might not even have twelve days to do work. Argh I really hated myself so much (I still do, but not much use crying over spilt milk now).

Anyway, so I went back to the central library this afternoon and sat down with some reference books. Also found some other useful books, but in the end, I'm still going to have to wait till the music library opens because the central library just doesn't the score for the essay topic I've chosen. I'll just try to do the most I can in the mean time though.

I rewarded myself for doing so much work coming down to the library even though I initially wanted to go home after practising due to the cold (thinking I'd probably not find anything useful anyway), by getting myself some chocolates from the Christmas market. It was the last day the market was open, so quite a number of stalls were having discounts. I got a buy-one-get-one-free bag of chocolate peanut clusters for £3, and two I-dunno-what-it's-called chocolate thingys (previously recommended by HN) for £1. I'm going to save the chocolates for when I start doing the essays.


Monday, December 18, 2006

Random musings

It's so ironic that I'm having a social life again because of work. Although I now have less time to spend with friends, I've also found a new bunch of friends at work to go out with. I guess that's the good thing about working with other students.

Last night four of us had planned to go to the movies, but HD didn't turn up in the end. We still had a blast though, because AN and HN are such fun people to hang out with.

This afternoon three of us planned to go jalan jalan in the city centre where the christmas market is going on. But AL didn't reply my SMS-es nor did she pick up my calls so only HN and I ended up going instead. Haha just what I've been dreaming of, spending time with him. But I've already convinced myself that we are just friends and I shouldn't be expecting anything more than that. So I had a great time without feeling awkward or trying too hard to be nice.

However, lurking in the back of my head there's still a list keeping track of all the nice things he's done. Like when we're clearing up after work and he helps set up the cafe (my job) while the rest, including me, are doing the dishes. He insists that he hates doing the dishes, which might be a reasonable explanation. And buying the coffee yesterday, paying for part of my movie ticket (by giving me more change), treating me to food at the market today, paying for my little souvenir together with his (and then declining when I said I didn't have small change to pay him back). Little things that can be explained away with other reasons.

Or one night just before opening time when AL said it might be busy because she'd seen people peering in while we were setting up. And HN said the people might have been looking at the pretty girls inside. Which everyone laughed off, including me. But at the same time I also wondered if that was his way to casually drop me a compliment. I'm pretty sure if it was meant to be a compliment it wouldn't be for AL, not being mean or anything but she's about twelve years older than us. And yet it could just have been one of the many jokes we crack during work :/

That's the bad thing... one part just wants to daydream and imagine all sorts of possibilities, yet the sensible part is triggering alarms and telling me it's going to be a stupid infatuation so I should stop daydreaming! Argh. I hate being female. Or, maybe, I just hate the daydreaming part of me that makes everything so rosy...

I gotta go. Need to repeat 'We are just friends' to myself hundred times.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

How do I freeze time?

Had lots of fun with two of the chefs, AN and HN, tonight. We went for a movie and then dinner.

Life is such a funny thing sometimes. While I'm now enjoying great friendships with both, my first impressions of them were rather negative. I thought AN was the sort who was 'I'm too cool for anyone', but by half of the first evening I worked in the restaurant, I already saw the real AN, who is cool in his own way. Not the 'act cool' kind of cool, but he really makes people like him because he is so honest, frank, sarcastic, funny, but at the same time never hurts anyone he's joking about. That's one person I wouldn't mind (and so far I haven't minded) making fun of me, because I will end up laughing with everyone about it. HN struck me as a dao kia at first. He seemed a little too serious and bossy the first time I worked with him. Only when the restaurant was closed and we were doing the dishes did he start being really friendly and joke-y.

And oddly enough, thinking about the friends I've now gained from working in the restaurant makes me feel so bittersweet. When I'm with them and thinking about all the fun times we've had so far, I just can't help smiling and laughing. But in the end I know we're still going to drift apart once we graduate, mainly because we all come from different countries, which makes me hurt so much. Sometimes I really wish time could freeze and I could remain here forever. It's the same about the Singaporean friends I've made here, whom I've never known in Singapore but have become close to here. Ultimately we're still all going to be doing our own things, living our own lives, with nothing to hold us together except the shared memories of our uni days. It's really sad.

I know, people come and people go, but we can still treasure the footprints they left, right? But I'm really selfish. If there was one thing I could change about the way the world works, I would change it so that friends can stay together always.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

End of autumn term

Start of the much awaited for one-month hols!

Not that I'm going to have much time to slack, but anyway I'll still have more time than usual without having to go for lectures and stuff. I just need to prevent myself from procrastinating and start on the three essays, one assignment, and ideas for next term's huge assignment. All of which (except the last) are due on the first day of term.

On the third day back will be the BIG DAY for me when I play for two singers' assessed performances. Currently not too worried about this because both singers are very consistent in the way they interpret their pieces so I know they won't spring a big surprise on me by making huge changes on the day. And without them here during the holidays I can't do much except make sure my part is ok.

I'll be working more during the holidays too, but in the day at the cafe. Some of the staff are going to have breaks/holidays so the restaurant staff are going to help out. The restaurant will be closed for three weeks while the boss and his family goes back to Japan. I'm just a tad worried because apparently the majority of cafe customers are old people with very strong accents. Hope I understand them. And I'll be working with the miss-experienced, who has switched from a night-time to day-time staff for some time already. Even the boss admits that both she and the other cafe staff have 'very strong character'. My tolerance level is very high and I can always seem unaffected, but I'm just not that keen on feeling low/stupid working every day with her. We shall see...

Friday, December 15, 2006

I'm a defective reject

So. I've been dumped by one of the singers for a professional.

Oh well. What can I say. She said her teacher wants her to use a professional. I think both doubted my ability to learn the part by January.

Just as well. Hers are the ones out of the three singers' pieces that I'm still not able to play properly. Giving allowance for my receiving her pieces the latest, they are still not decently played by now. Which kinda shows my inability... though I still think to myself that it's only because I haven't practised her pieces enough like I have the other two singers'.

That said, I must admit I haven't been able to connect with her pieces because I don't like them as well as the accompaniment parts she has given me. I suspect they are not very good reductions because they are not idiomatic at all for my instrument. This, in contrast to the other two singers' pieces, which I love... and which include the whole gamut of emotions, some of which are so heart wrenching-ly brought out by the singer that my heart was really aching as we practised!

I'm also guilty for ditching her an hour and a half before I was supposed to attend her lesson today. But I already did that last week, and I wasn't up to showing up to play so badly when I think she'd probably get more out of the lesson without me being cumbersome. Felt a little guilty, but somehow liberated because it meant I didn't have to be late for work again.

And speaking about work, tomorrow I will be meeting him and another chef for some shopping and jalan jalan in the city centre before work. Yay!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Some ways to (slightly) lower living costs

1. Switch the heater to timer mode
Only use heating from 5pm to 12 midnight and 5am to 9am. This saves a lot of spending on gas. This actually started out in my head as a rant about how cold my house is, but I know it's also saving me quite a lot.

2. Walk
Walk to anywhere manageable (e.g. average maximum distance of an hour on foot). I used to do this all the time last year, but being rather short of time this year, I'd rather pay to take the train and save some of my precious time.

3. Buy groceries from 'cheap places'
Some places have lower prices, especially if buying in bulk. And if it's too far to carry too heavy a load home, over here we have the 'family saver' thing for bus fares where three to five people can get together and pay less for their bus fares.

4. Only buy snacks when needed
I only buy snacks when I feel like snacking, as opposed to last year when every trip I made to buy groceries included the compulsory buying of snacks. It not only adds to grocery spendings, it also means I eat more. But I guess it doesn't really help a lot when I feel like snacking all the time anyway.

5. Find a job
Part-time jobs are great. The only drawback is having to manage my time well so that I don't neglect school work. Which is not a big problem for me I guess, since even if I wasn't working I'd be slacking instead of doing work. So why not spend the slacking time earning some cash and then really stressing myself out thinking there's no way I'll ever finish the school work on time? Non-clerical/office jobs are also good fat-burners, especially jobs like store assistants, waitressing, cooking, cleaning etc.

6. Try not to splurge
Very common sense. I haven't bought a single piece of clothing since I came here this year. Neither have I eaten at any fast-food places which are so tempting and mouth-watering each time I walk past them. My stomach always starts churning and I think I'd be salivating if not for fear of looking disgusting in public, but I convince myself that I could whip up a tasty, healthier meal at home for half the price anyway. But I've been out for dinner with a few friends a couple of times at some chinese restaurants, although each time I try to spend less than ten pounds (which is quite reasonable compared to if I ate out very often with friends in Singapore).

But oh! I'm so going to splurge on Boxing Day! I can't wait for Boxing Day sales... ooh I want a new pair of jeans. Some sweaters, a jacket (maybe?), things I can wear in spring, things I can wear in summer... I can't wait. I'm starting to save up now, keeping my salary safe and using as little of it as I can. It would be better still if I got to spend the day with him, even just as a friend. The act of him asking if I wanted to go to the sales together, when we were getting ready for work and casually chatting about the sales, shows that at the very least he cares (as a friend). Right? I think I'm thinking too much... *blush* am I too love-deprived or what?!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

I should just keep my mouth shut

I was early for a lesson on Tuesday, resulting in the lecturer and I being alone in the room. After I had set up the chairs and stuff for the lesson and while we were waiting for the others to arrive, she was trying to make polite conversation (I think) by commenting that I had been doing a good job in the module so far. As usual, I didn't know how to react and just smiled and said thank you. Then, I just had to be stupid; I added that I preferred my third assignment and didn't really like the second assignment.

She started frowning and I quickly tried to explain that it wasn't the 'topic' given to us that I didn't like, just that I thought my ideas weren't good and didn't really work for that assignment (another stupid remark). She must have been extremely puzzled that I was actually putting down my assignment in front of someone who was grading it, and started explaining that the point of the different 'topics' in the module was to challenge us to adapt our styles to accomodate others or materials/ideas that are different instead of writing in our own styles all the time. Nothing more was said about the matter because the classmates started arriving.

Maybe she must have been regretting the grade she gave me for my second assignment; after hearing me put down my own work like that, she could have gotten away with giving me a lower grade afterall. I got my assignment back from the office yesterday; she had given me a mid first class. Feeling both honoured and pressured to create even better assignments. Especially for the one due at the start of next term.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Tired

As if it's not enough to have busy schedules on Mondays and Tuesdays, the last two days have been two busy days rushing about from one place/thing to another. And then to round up, both days I had to take a cab to work.

The last thing I had on Wednesday was supposed to end at 4.15pm but we ran a little over time and then I walked home before calling a taxi because there was no way for a cab to get out of the uni except join in the massive traffic jam, whereas the road from my house going towards my work place is relatively empty. I think that was a major mistake, I should have just called a taxi from uni and hoped the taxi driver could find some other road to travel by, since by the time we finished I only had ten minutes left to get to work. I was half an hour late and the chef wasn't too happy that I informed him so late.

On Thursday I finished at 5.30pm in town, and by some coincidence the same taxi driver picked me up. He was really pleasant to chat with and avoided the roads with the major traffic jams so I managed to be 'on time' for work, at 6pm which was previously agreed on between the chef and I when I told him I won't be able to make it for 5pm.

And now I'm sitting at home wondering whether to go to uni, because I was supposed to attend a rehearsal to play for a group of singers today since GH said she couldn't make it. But because I'm such a scatterbrain and due to the busy week, I can't remember what time the rehearsal is. Last night, being exhausted from the tight schedule, I collapsed onto bed without setting the alarm clock. Woke up at 10am and panicked. Something tells me the rehearsal will either be from 10-12, or 12-2, or 2-4. One of them. But 12-2 might not be right cos usually there will be a lunchtime concert during this time, so we can't use the stage.

I wouldn't mind going to uni later for rehearsal, but if the rehearsal was really from 10-12, then I'd rather not show my face in school. Just so I can pull off a stupid excuse like 'I was sick' etc. Yea I know, how irresponsible of me! But from the start of the rehearsals I've never missed a single one whereas both GH and the other player have sporadically not gone for a rehearsal or two. I don't think it's too much that I just miss one (although I had agreed with GH that I'd go), and I doubt they can't continue rehearsals without me there either. SMS-ed GH at 10am to ask her for the time but she didn't reply. Argh she can be so uncontactable sometimes!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Bleeding...

I'm crazy.

It started as an admiration for his good looks last year.
I was ambivalent when I found out he had a girlfriend.

But unknowingly and subconsciously it has grown into a serious infatuation by now.
And my heart broke when I found out he currently has a girlfriend.

We have probably spoken less than ten sentences to each other. It was stupid. All in my mind. I knew it was impossible.
Why does my heart feels like it's torn to pieces?

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Happy

Got my pay for last week!

It's so exhilarating to convert from pounds to sing dollars and wow, I earn so much from working 22 hours! And then the balloon will burst when I spend money on grocery, bills and stuff cos I pay so much too. Dang.

He didn't add in the Thursday I worked two weeks before 22nd November, but fair enough, they did only ask me to 'come down and give it a try' for that Thursday.

I also didn't realise that tips would actually be added to our wages. Because the waitresses are told to put the extra change and tips into the till and to write down on the receipt the amount tipped, so all along I thought the tips just goes to the boss. I actually thought it's a good idea, cos on days when there are two waitresses working, it would be quite unfair really if the tips went to anyone who gave the customers bills and collected the money. Then both waitresses will be fighting to serve customers who are asking for the bill and not attending to the rest instead, right?

I don't care much for the tips but I must admit it was really a pleasant surprise to see that it was included in my pay. It shows the boss' appreciation for our work. Which he also tells us, like yesterday when he told me that I was doing well and I don't seem to panic even though it was crazy yesterday, with all the tables filled by big groups of people who wanted to be attended to at the same time. And I was working alone. It's good to know that my hard work didn't go unnoticed but at the same time I haven't yet managed to accept praise easily. Every time someone praises me, I'll feel really sheepish and not know what to say. I feel too proud if I just accept the praise and thank the person, yet I feel like I'm faking humble if I mumble something about not being good enough. So yesterday I just compromised with lots of sheepish thank you's. *Blush*

Hmm, and now I'm wondering if the chefs get any tips? If they don't, then it's quite sad to work in the kitchen. All that cooking and rushing of orders and no tips? But then again, they don't have to attend to the tables. Each has its pros and cons I guess.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Crazy day

I should have slept tried to sleep more rather than drag myself out of bed so early in a bid to start my day early by practising early in the morning. Because just minutes after I got into the practice block, the technicians decided to test the fire alarm. Which was fine by me, but somehow something was wrong and they had absolutely no way to reset the alarm, which was just ringing non-stop and beginning to make weird noises in my head. This went on for two hours.

Two hours! Two hours I could have lazed around spent productively by trying to read up more for the presentation next Thursday. But whatever, an early start to the day usually never fails to make me slightly more cheerful at the very least.

So I only got an hour of practice in when it could have been three. I decided to cut myself some slack as well, joining GO for lunch. What could be compared to spending just that one hour of my day catching up with a fellow Singaporean that I haven't talked to, or seen for that matter, since a few weeks after we came here for our second year?

To be fair, the day turned out to be alright. The highlight of the day was getting home after work to find all the housemates sitting around in the kitchen laughing their heads off at stupid little things, then proceeding to join in the laughter myself. They also saved me a piece a cake, bless their souls. Oh I'm so going to miss YR when he moves out. There can be nobody humourous enough to replace this house's chief harbinger of rolling-on-the-floor-tears-streaming-out-of-eyes laughter. Although NH's infectious and funny laughter comes in at a close second.

Now I'm going to catch some sleep before I start complaining about not getting any again.