I've just been hard hit with a bad bout of nostalgia.
When I couldn't think of anything else to contribute to my assignment (which now stands at 3 minutes 10 seconds), I started browsing blogs and dug up some band pieces from the dusty folders of my laptop. Listening to band pieces just brings back all the memories of secondary school and junior college days, which actually revolved around band activities more than anything else to me.
Sadly, I only have a few band pieces left. I hope there might be some in the computer back in Singapore, but somehow I think they might have been in the very old (and now replaced) computer's hard disk. Then I remembered I used to download band pieces from mIRC, so I downloaded mIRC and tried to find the correct channel. Pretty sure it's #bandmusic, but it was a ghost town in there. Not sure whether it's because everyone stopped using mIRC already (I sure did), or whether it's only because of the Taiwan earthquake so nobody is there. Will try again when people announce that the connection is good again.
Missing my band friends!!!! Very badly. And the music making.
I miss playing in a band. Don't own a euphonium so I can't play in the band here, and although I have a trombone in Singapore (long story) I suck at playing the trombone much more than playing the euphonium. So, no go. Although I did consider bringing it back with me this year so that I could audition to join the orchestras or band, but I didn't have the time to practise over summer. So better not. Plus, I don't think I have enough courage when I play so badly.
However, I just spent the last one and a half hours browsing through web sites looking for second hand euphoniums. The plan is to sell my trombone when I go back to Singapore in summer. And buy a second hand euphonium (either in Singapore or here in UK). But my dream model (at least a Besson, Prestige model would be a plus) is usually quite expensive. Found two BE-[some numbers] models, one for £400+ and another at £500. Might consider, but the £500 one (which is a preferred silver coloured one) doesn't come with a mouthpiece and the fit is larger so I'm not sure if I might run into trouble trying to buy a mouthpiece.
Or this just might be a daydream... not sure if I can tighten my purse strings to squeeze out 500 pounds to spare on a euphonium. But one day, I'm sure, I will buy one. And play in some CC band in Singapore. Just hoping that maybe, just maybe, I might be able to play in the wind band here next year... last year before I leave and probably not get to come back again. If I manage to own a euphonium I will really work hard and make sure I make it past the auditions!
Better go sleep, gotta wake up real early tomorrow. Start of the sure-to-be-hectic work week in the cafe!
Showing posts with label Daydream. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Daydream. Show all posts
Monday, January 01, 2007
Monday, December 18, 2006
Random musings
It's so ironic that I'm having a social life again because of work. Although I now have less time to spend with friends, I've also found a new bunch of friends at work to go out with. I guess that's the good thing about working with other students.
Last night four of us had planned to go to the movies, but HD didn't turn up in the end. We still had a blast though, because AN and HN are such fun people to hang out with.
This afternoon three of us planned to go jalan jalan in the city centre where the christmas market is going on. But AL didn't reply my SMS-es nor did she pick up my calls so only HN and I ended up going instead. Haha just what I've been dreaming of, spending time with him. But I've already convinced myself that we are just friends and I shouldn't be expecting anything more than that. So I had a great time without feeling awkward or trying too hard to be nice.
However, lurking in the back of my head there's still a list keeping track of all the nice things he's done. Like when we're clearing up after work and he helps set up the cafe (my job) while the rest, including me, are doing the dishes. He insists that he hates doing the dishes, which might be a reasonable explanation. And buying the coffee yesterday, paying for part of my movie ticket (by giving me more change), treating me to food at the market today, paying for my little souvenir together with his (and then declining when I said I didn't have small change to pay him back). Little things that can be explained away with other reasons.
Or one night just before opening time when AL said it might be busy because she'd seen people peering in while we were setting up. And HN said the people might have been looking at the pretty girls inside. Which everyone laughed off, including me. But at the same time I also wondered if that was his way to casually drop me a compliment. I'm pretty sure if it was meant to be a compliment it wouldn't be for AL, not being mean or anything but she's about twelve years older than us. And yet it could just have been one of the many jokes we crack during work :/
That's the bad thing... one part just wants to daydream and imagine all sorts of possibilities, yet the sensible part is triggering alarms and telling me it's going to be a stupid infatuation so I should stop daydreaming! Argh. I hate being female. Or, maybe, I just hate the daydreaming part of me that makes everything so rosy...
I gotta go. Need to repeat 'We are just friends' to myself hundred times.
Last night four of us had planned to go to the movies, but HD didn't turn up in the end. We still had a blast though, because AN and HN are such fun people to hang out with.
This afternoon three of us planned to go jalan jalan in the city centre where the christmas market is going on. But AL didn't reply my SMS-es nor did she pick up my calls so only HN and I ended up going instead. Haha just what I've been dreaming of, spending time with him. But I've already convinced myself that we are just friends and I shouldn't be expecting anything more than that. So I had a great time without feeling awkward or trying too hard to be nice.
However, lurking in the back of my head there's still a list keeping track of all the nice things he's done. Like when we're clearing up after work and he helps set up the cafe (my job) while the rest, including me, are doing the dishes. He insists that he hates doing the dishes, which might be a reasonable explanation. And buying the coffee yesterday, paying for part of my movie ticket (by giving me more change), treating me to food at the market today, paying for my little souvenir together with his (and then declining when I said I didn't have small change to pay him back). Little things that can be explained away with other reasons.
Or one night just before opening time when AL said it might be busy because she'd seen people peering in while we were setting up. And HN said the people might have been looking at the pretty girls inside. Which everyone laughed off, including me. But at the same time I also wondered if that was his way to casually drop me a compliment. I'm pretty sure if it was meant to be a compliment it wouldn't be for AL, not being mean or anything but she's about twelve years older than us. And yet it could just have been one of the many jokes we crack during work :/
That's the bad thing... one part just wants to daydream and imagine all sorts of possibilities, yet the sensible part is triggering alarms and telling me it's going to be a stupid infatuation so I should stop daydreaming! Argh. I hate being female. Or, maybe, I just hate the daydreaming part of me that makes everything so rosy...
I gotta go. Need to repeat 'We are just friends' to myself hundred times.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
How do I freeze time?
Had lots of fun with two of the chefs, AN and HN, tonight. We went for a movie and then dinner.
Life is such a funny thing sometimes. While I'm now enjoying great friendships with both, my first impressions of them were rather negative. I thought AN was the sort who was 'I'm too cool for anyone', but by half of the first evening I worked in the restaurant, I already saw the real AN, who is cool in his own way. Not the 'act cool' kind of cool, but he really makes people like him because he is so honest, frank, sarcastic, funny, but at the same time never hurts anyone he's joking about. That's one person I wouldn't mind (and so far I haven't minded) making fun of me, because I will end up laughing with everyone about it. HN struck me as a dao kia at first. He seemed a little too serious and bossy the first time I worked with him. Only when the restaurant was closed and we were doing the dishes did he start being really friendly and joke-y.
And oddly enough, thinking about the friends I've now gained from working in the restaurant makes me feel so bittersweet. When I'm with them and thinking about all the fun times we've had so far, I just can't help smiling and laughing. But in the end I know we're still going to drift apart once we graduate, mainly because we all come from different countries, which makes me hurt so much. Sometimes I really wish time could freeze and I could remain here forever. It's the same about the Singaporean friends I've made here, whom I've never known in Singapore but have become close to here. Ultimately we're still all going to be doing our own things, living our own lives, with nothing to hold us together except the shared memories of our uni days. It's really sad.
I know, people come and people go, but we can still treasure the footprints they left, right? But I'm really selfish. If there was one thing I could change about the way the world works, I would change it so that friends can stay together always.
Life is such a funny thing sometimes. While I'm now enjoying great friendships with both, my first impressions of them were rather negative. I thought AN was the sort who was 'I'm too cool for anyone', but by half of the first evening I worked in the restaurant, I already saw the real AN, who is cool in his own way. Not the 'act cool' kind of cool, but he really makes people like him because he is so honest, frank, sarcastic, funny, but at the same time never hurts anyone he's joking about. That's one person I wouldn't mind (and so far I haven't minded) making fun of me, because I will end up laughing with everyone about it. HN struck me as a dao kia at first. He seemed a little too serious and bossy the first time I worked with him. Only when the restaurant was closed and we were doing the dishes did he start being really friendly and joke-y.
And oddly enough, thinking about the friends I've now gained from working in the restaurant makes me feel so bittersweet. When I'm with them and thinking about all the fun times we've had so far, I just can't help smiling and laughing. But in the end I know we're still going to drift apart once we graduate, mainly because we all come from different countries, which makes me hurt so much. Sometimes I really wish time could freeze and I could remain here forever. It's the same about the Singaporean friends I've made here, whom I've never known in Singapore but have become close to here. Ultimately we're still all going to be doing our own things, living our own lives, with nothing to hold us together except the shared memories of our uni days. It's really sad.
I know, people come and people go, but we can still treasure the footprints they left, right? But I'm really selfish. If there was one thing I could change about the way the world works, I would change it so that friends can stay together always.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Some ways to (slightly) lower living costs
1. Switch the heater to timer mode
Only use heating from 5pm to 12 midnight and 5am to 9am. This saves a lot of spending on gas. This actually started out in my head as a rant about how cold my house is, but I know it's also saving me quite a lot.
2. Walk
Walk to anywhere manageable (e.g. average maximum distance of an hour on foot). I used to do this all the time last year, but being rather short of time this year, I'd rather pay to take the train and save some of my precious time.
3. Buy groceries from 'cheap places'
Some places have lower prices, especially if buying in bulk. And if it's too far to carry too heavy a load home, over here we have the 'family saver' thing for bus fares where three to five people can get together and pay less for their bus fares.
4. Only buy snacks when needed
I only buy snacks when I feel like snacking, as opposed to last year when every trip I made to buy groceries included the compulsory buying of snacks. It not only adds to grocery spendings, it also means I eat more. But I guess it doesn't really help a lot when I feel like snacking all the time anyway.
5. Find a job
Part-time jobs are great. The only drawback is having to manage my time well so that I don't neglect school work. Which is not a big problem for me I guess, since even if I wasn't working I'd be slacking instead of doing work. So why not spend the slacking time earning some cash and then really stressing myself out thinking there's no way I'll ever finish the school work on time? Non-clerical/office jobs are also good fat-burners, especially jobs like store assistants, waitressing, cooking, cleaning etc.
6. Try not to splurge
Very common sense. I haven't bought a single piece of clothing since I came here this year. Neither have I eaten at any fast-food places which are so tempting and mouth-watering each time I walk past them. My stomach always starts churning and I think I'd be salivating if not for fear of looking disgusting in public, but I convince myself that I could whip up a tasty, healthier meal at home for half the price anyway. But I've been out for dinner with a few friends a couple of times at some chinese restaurants, although each time I try to spend less than ten pounds (which is quite reasonable compared to if I ate out very often with friends in Singapore).
But oh! I'm so going to splurge on Boxing Day! I can't wait for Boxing Day sales... ooh I want a new pair of jeans. Some sweaters, a jacket (maybe?), things I can wear in spring, things I can wear in summer... I can't wait. I'm starting to save up now, keeping my salary safe and using as little of it as I can. It would be better still if I got to spend the day with him, even just as a friend. The act of him asking if I wanted to go to the sales together, when we were getting ready for work and casually chatting about the sales, shows that at the very least he cares (as a friend). Right? I think I'm thinking too much... *blush* am I too love-deprived or what?!
Only use heating from 5pm to 12 midnight and 5am to 9am. This saves a lot of spending on gas. This actually started out in my head as a rant about how cold my house is, but I know it's also saving me quite a lot.
2. Walk
Walk to anywhere manageable (e.g. average maximum distance of an hour on foot). I used to do this all the time last year, but being rather short of time this year, I'd rather pay to take the train and save some of my precious time.
3. Buy groceries from 'cheap places'
Some places have lower prices, especially if buying in bulk. And if it's too far to carry too heavy a load home, over here we have the 'family saver' thing for bus fares where three to five people can get together and pay less for their bus fares.
4. Only buy snacks when needed
I only buy snacks when I feel like snacking, as opposed to last year when every trip I made to buy groceries included the compulsory buying of snacks. It not only adds to grocery spendings, it also means I eat more. But I guess it doesn't really help a lot when I feel like snacking all the time anyway.
5. Find a job
Part-time jobs are great. The only drawback is having to manage my time well so that I don't neglect school work. Which is not a big problem for me I guess, since even if I wasn't working I'd be slacking instead of doing work. So why not spend the slacking time earning some cash and then really stressing myself out thinking there's no way I'll ever finish the school work on time? Non-clerical/office jobs are also good fat-burners, especially jobs like store assistants, waitressing, cooking, cleaning etc.
6. Try not to splurge
Very common sense. I haven't bought a single piece of clothing since I came here this year. Neither have I eaten at any fast-food places which are so tempting and mouth-watering each time I walk past them. My stomach always starts churning and I think I'd be salivating if not for fear of looking disgusting in public, but I convince myself that I could whip up a tasty, healthier meal at home for half the price anyway. But I've been out for dinner with a few friends a couple of times at some chinese restaurants, although each time I try to spend less than ten pounds (which is quite reasonable compared to if I ate out very often with friends in Singapore).
But oh! I'm so going to splurge on Boxing Day! I can't wait for Boxing Day sales... ooh I want a new pair of jeans. Some sweaters, a jacket (maybe?), things I can wear in spring, things I can wear in summer... I can't wait. I'm starting to save up now, keeping my salary safe and using as little of it as I can. It would be better still if I got to spend the day with him, even just as a friend. The act of him asking if I wanted to go to the sales together, when we were getting ready for work and casually chatting about the sales, shows that at the very least he cares (as a friend). Right? I think I'm thinking too much... *blush* am I too love-deprived or what?!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Bleeding...
I'm crazy.
It started as an admiration for his good looks last year.
I was ambivalent when I found out he had a girlfriend.
But unknowingly and subconsciously it has grown into a serious infatuation by now.
And my heart broke when I found out he currently has a girlfriend.
We have probably spoken less than ten sentences to each other. It was stupid. All in my mind. I knew it was impossible.
Why does my heart feels like it's torn to pieces?
It started as an admiration for his good looks last year.
I was ambivalent when I found out he had a girlfriend.
But unknowingly and subconsciously it has grown into a serious infatuation by now.
And my heart broke when I found out he currently has a girlfriend.
We have probably spoken less than ten sentences to each other. It was stupid. All in my mind. I knew it was impossible.
Why does my heart feels like it's torn to pieces?
Sunday, November 19, 2006
This guy's already taken
Aw, housemate NH is such a sweet guy! He just came to give me his free chocolates that he got today. He went with some of the Singaporeans to the place this city is known for, no prizes for guessing where... while If I had free chocolates I wouldn't give them away. His girlfriend is one lucky girl indeed! Don't think I'm so easily bribed that I will start thinking he's a nice guy just because he gave me chocolates though, he's been a very caring housemate, always looking out for me and stuff. He was really concerned about my mouldy problem, and hasn't been chasing me for the money I still owe him for buying some stuff for the house, bills etc from a long time ago, just because I told him (as a passing remark) that I only had enough money in my bank to pay the rents for the rest of the ten months and if I keep withdrawing from the account I'm going to be in trouble. That was about a month ago... and up till now, even after I've found a job, he still hasn't told me how much I owe him.
The best thing about NH is, he's a good listener. Not that I'm a good talker, or have lots to say, but he is genuinely concerned and really listens when he asks about my day. It's nice sometimes (like when I have a crazy impossible essay like this), to have someone ask, 'Hey, how's it going?' and empathising when you say you don't even know where or how to start. And in turn I empathise with him and YR when they are rushing to complete their weekly assignments.
And he's equally concerned about all his friends, always willing to go the extra mile to help or even just lend a listening ear. Maybe it's because he's like a brother (eight years older than me), sometimes I feel so cared for I go crazy and start daydreaming. If only he wasn't taken already... Anyway, glad to have such a great friend and housemate!
Ok, enough daydreaming and babbling... back to my essay now. I'm aiming to finish it by Sunday morning. Oh, is it Sunday already? Er, well, I'll just get back to work.
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