My friend, GH

Here's to true friendship that has weathered many storms, yet emerged stronger than before.

GH and I have been school mates for nearly nine years now... sec school, jc, then university. But I guess we never got to know each other well enough until recently. Even though we were close since jc, doing many stupid things together, taking turns to practice on the grand piano... we never actually understood each other on a deeper level. In university, we were twins in the department, always seen together (especially since we had most of our modules at the same time). We turned to each other for company, supporting each other through long nights churning out essays to be handed in the next day, having dinner together (taking 4 hrs!), going on day trips...

This year we drifted apart. I moved out with some others, she continued staying in student accommodation. She got close to HS, believed HS's tales about others, including me... I got close to II, complaining to each other about HS's self-centered behaviour. There was some tension in the beginning, since GH believed me to be what HS said of me. We remained cordial at the very least, and gradually broke the ice while having to play in the same rehearsals.

Only a few months ago did GH see HS for what she really was. Somehow she had matured a lot and was so different from when I last saw her before the holidays. When HS saw GH fraternising with the enemy, GH was of course written off as 'one of them' as well. It's heartwarming now that things have been cleared up and we can be there to support each other again, with increasing understanding of each other. I guess discussing our stupidity and mistakes opens the door to other topics we've always kept to ourselves.

I'm glad I have a friend like GH. It's significant that such a topic has made me break the silence that has settled over this blog; what better to write about to revive a dead blog?

Back from the dead

Wow... been really busy for the past two weeks. It was really bad, particularly because AL couldn't work in the cafe so I had to do that, take a 3-hour break while HN sets up the restaurant for me, and then work in the restaurant. It really took away whatever time I figured I would have to complete my essays.

At the same time, people came to tear down the plaster in my room and re-plaster and paint, so I had to move my stuff to the kitchen and NH's room. And sleep in a sleeping bag in his room as well, but I didn't get to sleep for 4 days because I was basically going to work, coming home after 11pm and then camping in the kitchen with my laptop until it was time to go to work again the next morning. That, and yet I still couldn't finish one of the three essays by the deadline. I had to give that up and hand it in a day late... was really disappointed in myself. Not so much for not being able to finish, but for procrastinating and leaving the work till so late.

Now my room is finally done, and I can move back, but the wardrobe is still mouldy, so I still can't put clothes in it. Going to just move my laptop and stuff back later, and put the bedsheets on so I can finally sleep in my own room tonight! But I'm going to miss sleeping in the very warm and comfy sleeping bag, although I won't miss the backache from sleeping on the floor.

I could have moved back sooner, but I was busy with the first week of school and for the last three days or so NH took over my room to finish his assignment (his room's in a complete mess now with my stuff cluttering it). But he's finally handed it in today, and I will gradually move out of his room (except my luggage with all the clothes piled on it).

The recital at which I accompanied two singers went really well. There was a last-minute change of piece at the end of last term by one of the singers, which I didn't have the time to practise during the holidays... and when school started, I had a day to practise it before rehearsing it with her the day before the recital. It was really nerve-racking, but I'm glad I managed it. And didn't break down, just had some minor mistakes... which the professional accompanist also had when he played for the singer who abandoned me. So, just goes to show... I'm not that bad afterall! (Saving my own face here la.) Both singers were really sweet and they bought me chocolates; the nicer one of the two bought a really box of chocolate and a really pretty card.

I can finally breathe again this week (or at least for now, I just hope the rest of the week will be ok). Tonight all of the housemates got together and we made assam fish head curry, roti john and roti prata for dinner. It was fantastic, except that the curry wasn't spicy at all (the Germans can't take spicy stuff). Tomorrow after I finish at 7pm I'm going to watch a movie with HN (whee!... but, a week after he asked me, he also asked a fellow colleague and her husband along...). Should be fun. I realised he's a really great friend to hang out with and we never run out of things to chat about, so that's good. Think status quo is great too, things can turn sour sometimes once you cross the line.

Anyway, yep, going to relax a bit before all the studying and working takes it out of me again once term gets into full swing.

How do I freeze time?

Had lots of fun with two of the chefs, AN and HN, tonight. We went for a movie and then dinner.

Life is such a funny thing sometimes. While I'm now enjoying great friendships with both, my first impressions of them were rather negative. I thought AN was the sort who was 'I'm too cool for anyone', but by half of the first evening I worked in the restaurant, I already saw the real AN, who is cool in his own way. Not the 'act cool' kind of cool, but he really makes people like him because he is so honest, frank, sarcastic, funny, but at the same time never hurts anyone he's joking about. That's one person I wouldn't mind (and so far I haven't minded) making fun of me, because I will end up laughing with everyone about it. HN struck me as a dao kia at first. He seemed a little too serious and bossy the first time I worked with him. Only when the restaurant was closed and we were doing the dishes did he start being really friendly and joke-y.

And oddly enough, thinking about the friends I've now gained from working in the restaurant makes me feel so bittersweet. When I'm with them and thinking about all the fun times we've had so far, I just can't help smiling and laughing. But in the end I know we're still going to drift apart once we graduate, mainly because we all come from different countries, which makes me hurt so much. Sometimes I really wish time could freeze and I could remain here forever. It's the same about the Singaporean friends I've made here, whom I've never known in Singapore but have become close to here. Ultimately we're still all going to be doing our own things, living our own lives, with nothing to hold us together except the shared memories of our uni days. It's really sad.

I know, people come and people go, but we can still treasure the footprints they left, right? But I'm really selfish. If there was one thing I could change about the way the world works, I would change it so that friends can stay together always.

This guy's already taken

Aw, housemate NH is such a sweet guy! He just came to give me his free chocolates that he got today. He went with some of the Singaporeans to the place this city is known for, no prizes for guessing where... while anti-social mugger busy me stayed at home all day writing my essay.

If I had free chocolates I wouldn't give them away. His girlfriend is one lucky girl indeed! Don't think I'm so easily bribed that I will start thinking he's a nice guy just because he gave me chocolates though, he's been a very caring housemate, always looking out for me and stuff. He was really concerned about my mouldy problem, and hasn't been chasing me for the money I still owe him for buying some stuff for the house, bills etc from a long time ago, just because I told him (as a passing remark) that I only had enough money in my bank to pay the rents for the rest of the ten months and if I keep withdrawing from the account I'm going to be in trouble. That was about a month ago... and up till now, even after I've found a job, he still hasn't told me how much I owe him.

The best thing about NH is, he's a good listener. Not that I'm a good talker, or have lots to say, but he is genuinely concerned and really listens when he asks about my day. It's nice sometimes (like when I have a crazy impossible essay like this), to have someone ask, 'Hey, how's it going?' and empathising when you say you don't even know where or how to start. And in turn I empathise with him and YR when they are rushing to complete their weekly assignments.

And he's equally concerned about all his friends, always willing to go the extra mile to help or even just lend a listening ear. Maybe it's because he's like a brother (eight years older than me), sometimes I feel so cared for I go crazy and start daydreaming. If only he wasn't taken already... Anyway, glad to have such a great friend and housemate!

Ok, enough daydreaming and babbling... back to my essay now. I'm aiming to finish it by Sunday morning. Oh, is it Sunday already? Er, well, I'll just get back to work.

Biggest divorce of the year

I'm really happy that this year, I only have one module in common with GH. Because of this, I interact more with other UK students / other UK students interact more with me. Whichever way round.

GH has been a school mate of mine since we were 13, but we have only ever been in the same class for two years. Except for one subject (the one we're studying now in uni), in which all its students from different classes come together for lessons. The first two years I knew her, I hardly knew her at all. The next two years we knew each other a little better, and the next two years we knew each other even better since the number of students taking this subject were few in junior college.

And I got to know GH quite well last year, since we were practically together most of the time. Although we had only two modules in common, we had quite similar timetables and we were staying on the same accomodation site. It was great to have someone from your country (someone whom you've known for six years too!) going to the same uni, and doing the same course as you. There's company when we slacked around, had more-than-and-hour-long dinners (food preparation took longer with two cooks than with one), and it was great when we supported each other through the hectic last-minute rushes to finish our essays and assignments.

But the downside of it was that since we were so often in the company of each other, we seldom interacted with the rest of the students in our course. When I was on my own of course I did have short conversations with certain people, but not much anyway. Or at the very least, I think by the end of this term I'd have spoken up enough to be on par with how much I actually did last year. Questions put forth by professors are not taken into consideration, though I've been questioned much more this year actually.

Maybe it's because I'm beginning to get to know people by playing in a module, which I'm not taking but participating unaccessed. Or maybe I've changed somewhat after the summer holidays back in Singapore, working? I mean, I've worked before this, but somehow this summer's experience was different. It was not particularly as exciting as some previous jobs, but the people were rather more engaging and I started to gain experience in maintaining a conversation with people. Yes, I think I was that bad, I am quite aware that I only spoke up if anyone specifically directed a question or statement or whatever towards me.

Or maybe I've just matured a little more since the past year. Guess I'm a bit of a late bloomer, but I realised that this year I've been able to sometimes strike up conversations without feeling awkward or stupid for asking stupid questions as a way to do it.

I've seen very little of GH this year, except during the module we have in common, a rehearsal in which we both participate, and occasionally bumping into each other in school. This year, I'm staying with four housemates in rented accommodation (cheaper rent), whilst GH is staying in the uni's accommodation. Someone has told me this is the biggest divorce of the year. That's the extent to which some people have thought of us, as twins, as a couple even. GH has her own reasons for staying on in uni accommodation, some of which I don't know and some of which I know. I don't think her worries are unfounded, but I still think staying in rented accommodation is not such a hassle and fuss as HS has made it out to be. To each her own I guess, GH seems to believe and trust that HS is always right, but I'm willing to give rented accommodation a try.

It's been decent enough so far, other than having to put up with the loneliness of seeing two of the housemates bringing their girlfriends home and hearing another singing to his girlfriend over the internet (aw, so sweet). Oh, and having mould growing in a corner of my room, waiting for a week for whoever-is-supposed-to-come-take-care-of-it, calling the landlord, and being told that they will come this week. We shall see. But all this is another story for another time. Got to get more sleep to make up for last night, and also to pull me through a long tiring Tuesday tomorrow, as always.